A Powerful Force For Love

Today I had Patrick's IEP (Individualized Education Plan) for his transition to high school.

I wasn't expecting too much since we had recently had another IEP meeting and pretty much set up all of the expectations for next year and planned it all out ahead of time.

This was just a more formal hand off:

You, junior high group, formally pass the torch to the high school group.

It was an intimate affair.

One school psychiatrist. One inclusion specialist from the high school. 

One junior high inclusion specialist and me.

And the person of honor: Patrick.

So we started out the meeting in the usual way.

Let's list Patrick's strengths.

Patrick, you go first.

Patrick was prepared.

Mike, his awesome inclusion specialist, had worked with him.

He listed off his reading, his love of Shakespeare, his love of drama...

and then he paused.

So the team, ever conscious of time, and the need for a steady pace, stepped in.

Mike asked pointedly: "Any more strengths, Patrick?"

Patrick was thinking about it.

I wanted to jump in and list the many, many strengths that I know he has.

But I resisted.

I distracted myself: I pondered how I would have handled this question 

asked of me in a room full of adults as a 15 year old.

I would have said way more ummmms.

[Once again, I considered how faulty this whole process was...

how contrived and forced.

What 15 year old would want to discuss his or her strengths or challenges in a room full of adults?

What adult would?

Asking a typical student to do this is hard.

Asking a teenager with a developmental disability to do this is Herculean.]

Patrick ummed for only a short second and then he hit it out of the park:

"Oh, and I'm a powerful force for love."

What on earth?

Never.

Honestly.

Ever. 

Have I said that phrase.to anyone.

There was a silence in the room.

I wasn't sure if they had heard him...but Mike did.

I agreed with Patrick and chimed in.

"Yes, he's a powerful force for love...but I'm not sure where that will go in our paperwork."

In my mind, I'm in a trance.

Powerful force for love.

Powerful force for love.

Powerful force for love.

Why, oh why, isn't that measurable?

Why does an ability to move fractions into percents seem to this audience as a greater strength?

Where's our humanity?

*****

What I love about this whole episode is that to those of us who have our days graced with someone with Down Syndrome this whole conversation doesn't seem so far-fetched.

People with Down Syndrome have a remarkable ability to keep it real.

To be candid and spot on.

They get to the heart of a situation.

They speak their minds...

without pretense or hidden agendas.

We just have to listen.

Or their genius gets overlooked...or lost...or worst of all, remains unknown.

No adult took the bait.

Patrick's comment went untouched.

Except for me.

His words just echoed. Over and over.

Powerful force for love.

Powerful force for love.

Powerful force for love.

His words became the haunting opportunity that remains largely missed in our schools.

Students with intellectual disabilities should be,

MUST BE,

included in typical classrooms...for this very reason.

THEY ARE A POWERFUL FORCE FOR LOVE.

And our classrooms need way more love.

Our typical students could sure use some love...

some acceptance...

some social, emotional acknowledgement.

Our schools need this powerful force,

way more than fractions or dates in history or grammar.

LOVE is the answer.

*****

Still, hours later, I'm hypnotized by those words.

Powerful force for love.

Powerful force for love.

Powerful force for love.

Maybe he said them just for my benefit.

They have forever changed me.

Patrick's words have become a mantra...

a challenge...

a request from the universe.

Most of all, they have become my heart's desire...

a daily affirmation...

to live more forcefully...

for love.

Let's be a powerful force for love. Today.

The ABC's of Graduation

Stay cool.

**Jack is graduating and I've been writing several different notes to him as part of a graduation gift. 
This is the third in that series.**
***

Just the other day I was talking to one of my resident teachers.  She's very pregnant, expecting her first baby, and the unmistakeable joy of this was sucking me in like that little whirlpool at the end of a bath.  I just wanted to soak up the anticipation. Wanted to bask in the newness and the miracle of her new baby-to-be.

We were talking board books and of course, 
I had my fair share of favorites to tell her about.  
I was right there. 
Could picture my baby bag stuffed with the board books that shared your baby days.

That moment of your babyhood was so vibrant and so tangible it made me swallow hard.
How can that be so real...and yet, so long ago?

Time is weird.

So, in honor of your board books and the many happy days of ABC books, Dr. Seuss, Captain Underpants, Harry Potter and the rest, I thought I would write you your very own set of ABC's.


Here, my friend, are the ABC's of Graduation...
life after formal school...
otherwise known as "the Real World".

I told you my approach when I was faced with that nervous situation...more school. :)
It worked for me.

But, we both know that more school, although probably in your future, isn't going to happen immediately after graduation so here's a little Real World advice,
using the alphabet.

*****

A-Attitude -- We know this to be a truth but sometimes we blow it off, or try to belittle it, but the truth is: you can get through the most hellish situation with a good attitude. How you frame the difficulty in your mind will be the path through which you surmount it.  If you believe you can't, you won't.  And, life is just so much more pleasant when you are around someone with a good attitude, a can-do-it approach and the ability to make the best of a true crap sandwich.

B-Believe -- You are the captain of your ship. Believe it. Set your course and see it through...but don't forget to stop at an island or two. Believe in yourself.  Believe in the beauty of your dreams. Believe in miracles and magic. Just believe.

C-Curiosity -- Stay curious...learn new things...contemplate the mysteries in our world...you'll never grow old if you stay curious.

D-Dream -- There are so so many paths to take, so many options wide open for you...life is expansive and full of possibilities and the only limits that you have are the ones you put on yourself...dream so big, Jack!

E-Excellence -- Autograph your work with excellence...take care to do the small job with care and the bigger ones will follow the same way.  Every job you complete has your signature...take the time and the care to do your best each time.

F-Family -- Family is everything...your support system, your 9-1-1 emergency crew, your middle of the night, call anytime people...they are always, ALWAYS, always here for you, cheering you on. 

G-Guts -- There is no easy button. So you have to go after things that matter to you and you have to have guts.  No guts, no glory, my friend.

H-Heart -- Live your life with your heart wide open...risk it all for love...hearts heal but the heart that plays it safe will never know just how big and open and full of love our world is...

I- Intuition-- Trust it. Follow it...no questions asked. Trust yourself to know your path...you know best.

J-Joy-- There are pockets of joy to be scooped up every single day -- look for their glitter and sprinkle it around...our world needs more joy.

K-Kindness--There's a famous quote that says: "If you have the choice to be kind or to be right, choose kind." I really wish I had heard that sooner on my path. Choose kind. Every.time. Life is just way too hard for any other choice. Everyone you know is struggling with something...most people play it very very close to the vest and only if you're lucky will they reveal their heart...but the struggles are real and kindness goes a long long way.

L-Laugh -- You know I'm a fan of laughing...in fact, I think it is a very necessary quality for a spouse and said so when I wrote this: marry the guy who makes you laugh  If you can laugh together, you have a very good chance of getting through the hard stuff...and the regular stuff will be a lot more fun too.

M-Magic and Miracles -- For some people, magic goes away around age 12. They've figured out David Copperfield's secrets. They know that the Muppets have someone hiding under there making them move. They are wise to the wily work of adults and they start to think that magic is just a fun story for little kids. I'm not in that crowd. For me, magic (and miracles) are everywhere...in the pink tipped color in an otherwise white rose; in a coffee cake muffin made at the Davis Food Co-op (otherwise known as crack with a crumb topping), in a spider's web, in a moment that holds a brush of skin or a held gaze for a fraction longer than needed that suddenly changes the course of a life.  It's in the crazy coincidence that suddenly makes everything else make sense. It's there. Please notice.

N-Never Take No For An Answer -- Honestly, if you know it's right, if you really know in your heart that this is what needs to happen, just keep pounding on the door, making some noise, keep asking the question and find another way...don't take no for an answer, ever...unless it doesn't matter that much...then, just let it go.

O-Outside the Box-- Actually my preference is no box at all...but often times the world presents you with a puzzle that seems confining and with no solution. Think differently. Try upside down or inside out or under ground.  There is a solution...you just have to get creative and blow the barriers off.

P-Prayer -- There is a tendency to think we know it all...or at the very least Google what we don't know...sometimes we just don't know.  It's confusing. Makes no sense and seems frightening. Finding time for prayer will help. Make time for it...no one needs to know. Just make a space in your day for it...it will help, I promise. 

Q-Quiet -- If you make time for prayer you'll be given the gift of quiet...soak it up.  Our world is a very noisy place and getting noisier.  Find a space to settle down...into the quiet so you can hear the whispers of your heart.

R-Ruh-roh-- That's how Scooby Doo says it...being able to say uh-oh is a very good skill.  We don't have all the answers...very very often, things turn to mush. Things don't make sense and that's okay. When things get confusing, when crap goes down, when life pours a whole crap ton of lemons on you a little ruh-roh might just help. Take a deep breath and just know that the confusion is part of the process and all you can do is acknowledge it.

S-Service to others -- This, right here, is the ground zero of a happy life. Honestly, if you are out of whack...messed up...upside down...get back to serving others.  It will make everything make sense.

T-Thankful heart-- You know how I feel about taking the time to be grateful...at least I hope you do...counting your blessings is real...no joke, no Hallmark card...real life help in seeing just how many blessings you have and trust me, you have a million even on your worst day. Picture your biggest nightmare come true: still, there would be people and moments that are worth thanking. BTW, do not forget the power of an in-real-life thank you note...let someone know, really, how much you appreciate their time or encouragement or their efforts on your behalf.  It will make a world of difference.

U-Unexamined life -- It's not worth living.  You know it. Stop. Pause. Examine. Revisit ideas that you are really invested in...are they still worth your time and energy? Only you will know...but only if you take the time to check in and make sure.

V- Voice -- Spoiler alert: you are the very own you that will ever exist. Ever. It's so crazy and amazing and still we just act so casual about it...100% irreplaceable. Please, please, please know your true, vast, miraculous essence and let your voice be heard. None of the rest of us know what you are thinking, dreaming, hoping, praying, creating unless you share it. It would be a tragedy to never know. Speak up. Share it. The world will be better with your voice being heard.

W-Wonder -- This is part of being curious...every day, literally every day, there are wonders to notice.  Today I saw the world's tiniest red spider. How can it survive? Where does it live? What does it eat? Flecks of dust? Honestly, there is so much to wonder about that it can take your breath away. If you stop wondering...take a mental health day and find your happy place because you've landed in the doldrums.

X- XOXO -- Never think you're too big, too sophisticated, too special for a little xoxo love. Grandma still signs every card with that hug and kiss assortment. We need it.

Y-Yoga Yield -- Sometimes the only answer is to yield...to be soft...to release the hold. If you're ever stuck and you find yourself gripping something tighter, try it. It just might blow your mind.

Z- Zzzzzzz -- When it all gets to be too much, just snuggle up and take a little nap or better yet, hibernate. Sleep really does make everything better. The new day, the fresh start, the second chance is the gift of sleep. I know it's not sexy.  I know it's not what you want to hear, but just head to bed. Your great grandma is right:"Nothing good ever happens after midnight." (I might lengthen that to 1am, but you get the point!)

The Alchemy of Friendship

I've been thinking a lot about friendship lately.

About new worlds...only made by the intersection of two people's paths at just the right moment.

You have to be ready.

The other person has to be willing.

Some sort of magic happens and like a chemical experiment...

where there were once two separate chemicals, now there is unity...

friendship.

Joy.

Comfort.

Supreme comfort.

The ability to just be yourself without pretense and let the friend be the same.

Such a gift.

It can't be orchestrated.

It can't be forced.

We can wish for it.

Pray for it.

Dream about it...

but like a kite catching air,

it has to have just the right angle,

just the right amount of wind,

the exact moment when majestically it soars.

*****

When you have a child with a disability, you wonder in the dark of night if that child will be able to connect and have a friend...

not someone who is nice to them.

That's too easy.

No, you dream of something deeper.

A genuine enjoyment of each other.

Shared secrets.

Inside jokes.

Laughter and lightness woven with acceptance.

Like a unicorn, this kind of friendship seems mythical.

Is it possible?

The answer is yes.

Patrick and Christopher at 6th grade camp.

These two have been friends for a long time.

They don't need much.

They find ways to laugh and have fun almost immediately.

There is a realness and a genuine joy with each other that is palpable.

There's no awkward tension of trying too hard...or wanting it too much.

No, there's just a couple of goofballs.

Sunken into the comfy couch of friendship.

Patrick and Christopher were in the same class from first grade to sixth grade.

Then, in 6th grade, Christopher moved to another school.

They were still friends but for 7th and 8th grade they rarely had a chance to connect.

This year, in 9th grade, Patrick moved over to the same school as Christopher.

They picked up where they left off.

Sharing lunch time and laughs.

I haven't been around these two really at all...

I just hear the snippets of their friendship at the dinner table.

But a few weeks ago, I had to drive both of them to a week-end adventure two hours away.

Listening to them talk in the back seat was transformational for me.

I never had the opportunity to become friends with someone with a disability when I was a kid.

I really can't imagine it.

I try and picture how I would have been...

would I have slowed down and taken the time to really see this person?

I cringe and know that the answer sure feels like no.

How did Christopher know to do this?

Are you born with a compassionate heart...

or do you build it like a drip sand castle

drip by drip

just by being submerged in a world of difference and diversity?

Like friendship, I think it is a magical alchemy...

the heart is ready and the opportunity bubbles up creating the solution needed for friendship to form.

I know this much: inclusion is part of the answer.

*****

In the back of the car, two 15 year olds talk about driving and getting licenses.

Christopher reveals that he already has his drivers' permit, 

the first step to getting a California drivers' license.

Patrick gives him the appropriate oooh's and aaah's...truthfully impressed.

He doesn't press further...but Christopher does.

He asks Patrick if he has the app on his phone to take practice written tests for driving.

When Patrick reveals that he doesn't have the app, Christopher downloads the app onto Patrick's phone and then proceeds to go through a sample test with him.

This quote:

"Really, Patrick, you can totally do this. Most of the answers are just common sense. I'll help you."

made my inner Rocky run up the steps and dance with my inner Mother Teresa...

who does this??

The answer:

a friend.

A real friend presumes competence.

A real friend supports and encourages dreams.

A real friend shows the path.

A real friend believes in you.

A real friend takes a selfie and posts it to Instagram and watches the likes pile up...

Well, I think there can be some debate on the last bit...

but this pic is the essence of real friends.

Comfortable.

Companionable.

Caring.

These two have reignited their friendship...the world is better for it.

Just like the two individuals, this moment in time will never come again.

In the Japanese culture it is called Ichigo Ichie. 

One opportunity. One encounter.

We must cherish the chances we're given for friendship.

Seize them.

Reach out.

Laugh and linger.

Try harder.

Wait and wait and wait...and reach out some more.

Friendship is too important to let slip away.

We can't explain it...

or analyze it...

but we know it's no myth and all magic.

Today I'm grateful for big hearts and kind friends,

authentic and real in their relationship.

Thank you for showing me how it's done.

Thank you for sharing a bit of the magic with me.

The Best Part of my Day

** This is my first official guest blog post.  I am writing for my friend, Rita Wirtz's blog, Reading Champs and I am both honored and a bit intimidated.  Rita and I both share a passion for reading but Rita shares her passion on her blog, with her books and in teacher education conferences...I just read...and occasionally write. :)  
But I thought I could share the best part of my day...reading with my kids right before bed. 

Thank you Rita for this opportunity! **

Snuggled in on a Saturday morning with Caroline. :)

"You may have tangible wealth untold;

Caskets of jewels and coffers of gold.

Richer than I you can never be --

I had a Mother who read to me."

--Strickland Gillilan

I grew up with a mom who read to me.

She would read magazines out loud to us on long car rides...and we would all groan...and complain and pretend we didn't want to listen...

but the view outside was boring and it was a welcome change, so we listened and learned something.

I remember my mom craning her neck and turning herself sideways so that we could see the pictures in the magazines and understand the subtleties in her voice.

She was a preschool teacher so she knew how to read out loud...

how to be suspenseful, tricky, magical and funny.

Her birthday is this week-end and I'll try to think of a present that is good enough.

A present that can come close to the gift she gave me...my love of books.

You and I both know I don't stand a chance.

All I can do is send her these words and have her know, 

really know, 

how much I valued her joy in literature, 

her big hearted tears that would come with every Erma Bombeck essay, 

her love of Snoopy's wisdom 

and Judith Viorst's tender witness to parenthood.

Her book-love so infected me that when it came time to choose places to live...I angled and finagled my world so that I could be within walking distance to our city library...my dream as a child.

It came true in adulthood.

I can walk to the library, bike to a bookstore, wander to a city bench to read and read.

It's one of my greatest joys and I have my mom to thank.

*****

Today I have four kids of my own...

and reading is a big part of our world too.

There are plenty of things I would re-do but sneaking to bed late because we're caught up in a book isn't one.

Without fail, the best part of my day is reading with my children right before bed.

It can be hard juggling bedtimes and kids' needs but it is worth every effort for those moments of connection and calm joy.

If your child is a strong independent reader...who cares?!

Don't lost those moments to read the even deeper, more suspenseful, more emotional, more messy and poignant, beautiful books of young adult literature together.

I know my kids don't probably remember any of these moments but I am going to share them here anyway...

if only as a time capsule to seal away and forever hold close.

*****

Thank you to Jack...for letting me hear you giggle over Captain Underpants in second grade.

As a teacher, I looked down on that series of books...

watching you read that book on your own and laugh out loud, my heart was turned.  

I became the best evangelist for inappropriate potty humor around.

Thank you for sharing with me Harry Potter.

I know you could have read that on your own...

but it was like the very best kept secret to share with you.

I will never forget riding bikes to get Harry Potter 3 on that summer day -- the day it was finally released -- and eagerly stopping even before we got home (!) to begin reading because we just couldn't wait one more minute.

Thank you to Mary Kate...my reluctant reader...who holds as a prize the title 

"no interest in reading anything ever" with pride...

for my tender, miraculous moment of tears over Charlotte's death in Charlotte's Web.
Smiles over Judy Moody and Molly Moon also snuck up on us. 

Later, we guiltily devoured the Twilight series (ssshhhh, never reveal to anyone our impassioned love of vampires and werewolves) and I cherish that silly series for it connected me to you.

Thank you to Patrick for the beauty in watching you learn to read.

Thank you for always being willing to sit on a lap or later lay in a bed and read.

My favorite book we have shared so far was Winn-Dixie.

Listening to that little lonely girl make friends with so many different types of people in her wonderful guileless way was just what my heart needed.

Your eagerness to find out what happened next, 

your willingness to keep reading even when your eyes ached to close

were tiny nighttime joys.

And thank you to Caroline...

who loved Dr. Seuss, Curious George, Clifford the Big Red Dog and Fancy Nancy...
but most of all, Junie B. Jones,
sassy kindergartener extraordinaire.

Making our way through that entire series 

through a whole summer will be one of my fondest memories.

Thank you for letting my heart sink into Little House in the Big Woods.

Thank you for helping me to circle my way back to the jewels of childhood:

laps, stories and time.

If you have a reluctant reader...never fear.

They really just haven't found the right story.

Try non-fiction.

Or poetry.

Or inappropriate potty humor. :)

Or just try.

Keep trying over and over.

Bring out the snacks.

The drinks.

The cozy jammies.

For when your child stumbles onto what touches his heart, 

you have given him a key.

A secret passage to handle adversity.

A staircase to find inspiration.

A path to escape the rigors of a weary world.

A way directly to the heart.

You have unfolded a map that will traverse an entire lifetime.

I should know.

My mom read to me.

*****

And if you love to read, please join the Twitter chat called #Read4Fun 

every Sunday at 4pm Pacific Time.

You will be amazed at how many people share your joy.

You'll get book ideas.

Life ideas.

Fun ideas

...and meet the sweetest people.

Look for me: @inclusionchick and Rita @RitaWirtz

The Wabi-Sabi Life

"The notion is called Wabi-Sabi life, like the cherry blossom, it is beautiful because of its impermanence, not in spite of it, more exquisite for the inevitability of loss."

-- Peggy Orenstein

We don't consider our impermanence too often...unless we are forced to.

Having it thrust upon us.

Third graders virtually never do.

About a month ago I saw this article

on Katrina Kennison's Facebook page.

It startled me. 

It wowed me.

It made me see everything that was laying on the ground outside as an object of beauty

a piece of a puzzle

a gift.

An artist named Ja Soon Kim who lives in New Mexico 

collects things...

leaves, petals, twigs, stones, crabapples, feathers, sea shells

and carefully, 
mindfully, 
intentionally 

selects a spot on a square of white or black

and creates art

Exhibit A

These happen to be little red leaves...but it could be

Exhibit B

...bark.

These works of art of hers aren't glued down or shellacked or in some way made permanent.

She takes a photo.

She posts it to Instagram.

She moves on...

and leaves the rest of us wanting more...

pondering about what else could be selected so carefully and placed so meticulously.

Exhibit C

Fallen crabapples.

*****

When I saw her work, I wanted to see what third graders might think.

I wanted to take them on a walk and watch them look at the discards of our natural world and ponder a white space and where it might find a place.

I wondered if they would think it was weird...

or dumb...

or pointless...

I wondered if they could possibly understand impermanence.

Savor the fleeting.

Turns out they could.

I've done art with many classes of many ages over many years.

For me, this lesson was very likely my most successful.

They understood.

They made the most of their walk...their freedom to pick and choose 

and delight in something nature no longer needed.

When it came time to place the objects, none wanted to glue it down.

Maybe the knowledge that there was a photo to commemorate it helped.

They were eager to design and savor and click a photo and start again.

Here is a sampling of their designs...

Exhibit A

 Kate: "In everything there is a swirl of light."

Exhibit B

Kerrigan: "Every day you bloom to be a new person."

Exhibit C

Lauren: "Everything is flowerful."

There is a whimsy, a lightness, a generosity in their quotes...

the impermanence is beautiful and they relish it.

Maybe it's their distance from big loss.

Maybe it's their childish wonder.

Maybe it's the purity and grace of childhood.

Exhibit D

Gabby: "Nothing lasts forever."

And Gabby states it so clearly, so simply, that it gives me pause.

Those dandelion fluffs already disintegrating...

so fragile that with any movement, a seed is lost.

She knows what we all know...time is passing...things fall apart...people must leave...
but she stops.
She creates.
She leaves her mark.

We all must.
We are called to create.
To love.
To sing, dance, write, wonder, experiment...
connect.

And from all of these beautiful impermanent moments maybe that's what matters most.

I do know it's a Wabi-Sabi life and somehow having a name for it helps.

Thank you Ja Soon Kim.

Thank you third graders.
Thank you for spotting the beauty in the gutter...
in the cracks and crevices...
in the hidden places.

Just look what you did.

Here, for good measure, is Caroline's...Exhibit  E

Her quote: "You wish it, you want it, you make it happen."

Lastly, my darling niece Lizzy reminds us of what really matters...

Exhibit F

Lizzy: "Smile."

It's a Wabi-Sabi life...there's nothing to lose (or maybe there's everything to lose)...
let's push the pause button...and smile.

Have Courage, Be Kind and Find a Little Bit of Magic...

This week-end was World Down Syndrome Day.

I almost always think of the new mom...

the pregnant mom...

the twosome that suddenly turned into a threesome and then got a big surprise...

Down Syndrome snuck into the room.

"Go away, right now." They want to scream.

"We want our perfect baby."

"We want a trouble-free childhood."

Milestones met easily. 

No difficult conversations.

No messy situations.

But Down Syndrome is stubborn...and it will not be leaving the party.

Those new parents will hear all of the difficulties up front.

A doctor or geneticist will think they are being kind and they will lay out as if it were the assortment of utensils used in Downton Abbey's famous dinners, the numerous potential difficulties of life with Down Syndrome.

I often wonder how parents of typical infants would react if they too were seated 

and forced to listen to all of the difficulties that their children may face.

What would they say?

Their faces squinty-eyed searching their tiny treasure for any sign that the potential things listed might be present right this very minute or showing up at any moment.

*****

I get it.

I was you once...searching for other families with three children and looking at them longingly.

Why isn't my family like that?

Get this interloper out.now.

On this day, 363 days until we have a chance to celebrate Down Syndrome with the world again,

 I'd like to offer up some truth.

I've been hanging around people with Down Syndrome on a regular basis for fifteen years.

Down Syndrome is not a rude guest.

Down Syndrome provides you with something you may never have had before...

glittering eyes.

Down Syndrome is full of magic...

so unlikely...

so improbable...

that people discount it and never notice.

If you are pals with Down Syndrome, you see miracles. full fledged miracles. frequently.

You see the tenderness and joy that is so raw and so real that it takes your breath away.

You see the power of hope.

You witness just how powerful love really is.

You see people dealing with adversity in a humble, stoic way. 

They just deal with it. Don't belabor it. 

Courage in every way.

You learn how to live in this moment right now...not rehashing the past or planning the future.

Right now.

Turns out that's what matters.

It just so happened that World Down Syndrome Day aligned with Patrick's 

one and only basketball tournament with Special Olympics.

He got himself up and ready and filled up the water bottle.

We listened to songs to pump ourselves up.

We put our game face on...

only that's not a thing in Special Olympics because when you walk out, 

your team-mates are loose and ready...and oh so happy to see you.

Cheering for you, actually.

They might be wearing fox ears.

They could be needing a new jersey.

They might be talking to themselves...or have anger issues.

But the rag tag group is a team and they are happy for the opportunity.

Watching Patrick play basketball, none of it is easy.

The player whose vision prevents him from being able to dribble in any way.

The player who likes to defend a little too enthusiastically.

The player who has a sweet shot from only one tiny spot on the court...but when it gets up...when it has a chance to fly,

man, it's nothing but net.

In these games, every point is hard won.

Nothing comes easy.

Even taking the ball inbound can be tricky.

The scores are low -- but the spirits are high.

Miraculously, Patrick's team won their second round of games and they would be playing the 

Gold Medal Game!

We came home, gathered the troops and went back for the game.

The stands were full.

The players were ready...nothing had changed.

No stressful coaching talks.

No pressure from the other players or the parents to perform.

Just another game.

The teams were very evenly matched.

There were miracle shots on both sides.

There was joy and acceptance and fun -- cheers from the crowd and high fives from friends.

Double overtime.

Down from behind.

Patrick's team recovers and impossibly shoots to win, with seconds left.

It was a Gold Medal Moment.

I squished that moment in my heart. 

Tried to feel it and know its smoothness.

I had my parents cheering, my children cheering, my husband cheering  -- 

I wanted to transport any new parent and 

like the Ghost of Christmas Future show you what you are in for...

Down Syndrome is a glue...

it's sticky and attracts the most amazing people.

People like Patrick's Special Olympics basketball coach who on his first day of spring break as a junior high teacher of students with disabilities is front and center organizing the groups and passing out jerseys.

People who have at their core a deep understanding of what matters.

What's real.

What's important.

That glitter glue attracts people who are:

Selfless

Honest

Trustworthy

Dependable

Loving

Optimistic

Encouraging

Problem-solvers

People who get stuff done.

*****

Our family went to see the new Cinderella movie.

It's a beautiful escape with a wonderful message:

Have courage, be kind and find a little bit of magic.

Those words are my truth.

That is the definition of Down Syndrome:

courage, kindness, magic.

New momma, you are in for some serious magic.

But you must take your glittering eyes and really see.

In the most unlikely of places,

with the most unlikely of people,

you will be blessed.

Blessed by love, kindness, friendship and the clarity to see what counts.

I wish for you not just a Gold Medal World Down Syndrome Day,

I wish for you a glittering, gold medal Down Syndrome life.

A wonderful life.in.every.way.

Welcome.