The Wabi-Sabi Life

"The notion is called Wabi-Sabi life, like the cherry blossom, it is beautiful because of its impermanence, not in spite of it, more exquisite for the inevitability of loss."

-- Peggy Orenstein

We don't consider our impermanence too often...unless we are forced to.

Having it thrust upon us.

Third graders virtually never do.

About a month ago I saw this article

on Katrina Kennison's Facebook page.

It startled me. 

It wowed me.

It made me see everything that was laying on the ground outside as an object of beauty

a piece of a puzzle

a gift.

An artist named Ja Soon Kim who lives in New Mexico 

collects things...

leaves, petals, twigs, stones, crabapples, feathers, sea shells

and carefully, 
mindfully, 
intentionally 

selects a spot on a square of white or black

and creates art

Exhibit A

These happen to be little red leaves...but it could be

Exhibit B

...bark.

These works of art of hers aren't glued down or shellacked or in some way made permanent.

She takes a photo.

She posts it to Instagram.

She moves on...

and leaves the rest of us wanting more...

pondering about what else could be selected so carefully and placed so meticulously.

Exhibit C

Fallen crabapples.

*****

When I saw her work, I wanted to see what third graders might think.

I wanted to take them on a walk and watch them look at the discards of our natural world and ponder a white space and where it might find a place.

I wondered if they would think it was weird...

or dumb...

or pointless...

I wondered if they could possibly understand impermanence.

Savor the fleeting.

Turns out they could.

I've done art with many classes of many ages over many years.

For me, this lesson was very likely my most successful.

They understood.

They made the most of their walk...their freedom to pick and choose 

and delight in something nature no longer needed.

When it came time to place the objects, none wanted to glue it down.

Maybe the knowledge that there was a photo to commemorate it helped.

They were eager to design and savor and click a photo and start again.

Here is a sampling of their designs...

Exhibit A

 Kate: "In everything there is a swirl of light."

Exhibit B

Kerrigan: "Every day you bloom to be a new person."

Exhibit C

Lauren: "Everything is flowerful."

There is a whimsy, a lightness, a generosity in their quotes...

the impermanence is beautiful and they relish it.

Maybe it's their distance from big loss.

Maybe it's their childish wonder.

Maybe it's the purity and grace of childhood.

Exhibit D

Gabby: "Nothing lasts forever."

And Gabby states it so clearly, so simply, that it gives me pause.

Those dandelion fluffs already disintegrating...

so fragile that with any movement, a seed is lost.

She knows what we all know...time is passing...things fall apart...people must leave...
but she stops.
She creates.
She leaves her mark.

We all must.
We are called to create.
To love.
To sing, dance, write, wonder, experiment...
connect.

And from all of these beautiful impermanent moments maybe that's what matters most.

I do know it's a Wabi-Sabi life and somehow having a name for it helps.

Thank you Ja Soon Kim.

Thank you third graders.
Thank you for spotting the beauty in the gutter...
in the cracks and crevices...
in the hidden places.

Just look what you did.

Here, for good measure, is Caroline's...Exhibit  E

Her quote: "You wish it, you want it, you make it happen."

Lastly, my darling niece Lizzy reminds us of what really matters...

Exhibit F

Lizzy: "Smile."

It's a Wabi-Sabi life...there's nothing to lose (or maybe there's everything to lose)...
let's push the pause button...and smile.

Thank You, Monet!

"I hope some day to meet God, 

because I want to thank Him for the flowers."  

--Robert Brault

Caroline in a field of white and purple daisies.

It's that time of year, or maybe it's because we just had earth day, or maybe it's because I spent some time at my favorite place, the beach, but I have this beautiful planet on my heart.


No matter where you walk, right now it's showing off.

Taken as I was driving because I was so so utterly blown away by the fleeting majesty.

In my heart, I want to be a photographer, if only to capture the momentary glory and remember...
to press it on my heart in hard times and times of deep sadness...
to know that right around me -- always within reach --
is this.

I have an irrational fondness for these tiny, tiny daisies that sprout up only at this time of year amid the regular grass...as if trying to blend in...and finding it an impossible task:

We have wild mustard blooming and those magical California poppies and lupines and iris and roses...always the roses.

I can't help myself.  

I'm in love...with this earth, with the non-stop wonders that surround me... 

with the everyday holiness.

It's sacred.

Found at a Brownie meeting...in between skit practice and singing campfire songs.

One of my most recent favorite books had the dad thinking aloud with his terminally ill teen-age daughter about our world:
"Sometimes it seems the universe wants to be noticed.  That's what I believe...I think the universe is improbably biased toward consciousness, that it rewards intelligence in part because the universe enjoys its elegance being observed."
The Fault In Our Stars -- John Green


I agree!
It's pretty obvious it wants to be noticed...

This happens every, single day.  No.big.deal.

How do we stop noticing??
How can we not tear up with the beauty?
I guess it's called taking it for granted...
but I want to stop and notice.
I want to fill my heart up with the every day glory that is only here in this moment, right now.

*****

I recently taught an art lesson to a bunch of 2nd graders.  We went to our local arboretum and looked at some bridges and wild flowers and just stopped and got quiet and paid attention.

I told them that Claude Monet painted the same bridge in London, the Waterloo Bridge, over 100 times.
This took my breath away.
I showed them the same bridge painted on three different days, years apart by Monet...
one was a gorgeous pinkish hue, fused with early light;
one was bluish in tone with a hint of fog...the blue, a light turquoise with some green tints as well;
one was a lavender, dusky and melancholy and utterly breath-taking.

I've been thinking so much about Monet's wisdom.

Nothing is the same.

Each day it is a bit older, a bit more lush, or broken in, a bit more overgrown or mowed or the tree limbs are bare or that flower is just springing up or the light plays a different way.

His passion for seeing the very same scene with different eyes has transformed me.

Seals and Crofts said it best:
"We may never pass this way again."

Just for today, let's notice.

Tender Mercies

"Happiness isn't complicated.  

It is a humble state of gratitude for simple pleasures, tender mercies, recognized blessings, and inherent beauty." 

-- Richelle E. Goodrich

Today was a happy day.  

It included nothing expensive...in fact, it was free.  It was filled with inherent beauty that's for sure.  

Simple pleasures were abundant.

I counted more than several blessings and one tender mercy..but that's a story for later.

In my local paper I had read about a man who grows two acres of zinnias and offers them free to anyone who can pick them.  His one caveat: for every bouquet you pick for yourself, you must pick another one and leave it at the zinnia patch.  The bouquet left behind is for someone who cannot pick it for themselves -- maybe they are in the hospital or a nursing home.  The farmer has the pick up and drop off all lined up.  All you have to do is fill the empty vase...with his freshly picked flowers.

Like some sort of Bobby Flay "Throw Down", a proposal like that is irresistible.

We set off for the zinnia patch.

Anyone know California's state motto?  Eureka!
(aka: We found it!)

We picked.  We wandered.  We stared at the wildlife that hangs out in a flower patch: hummingbirds, spiders, lizards, butterflies, dragonflies...the list goes on and on.
We gathered zinnias and then gathered some more.
We marveled at the varieties.

We were all alone in a patch of flowers...thanks to one man's joy in simple pleasures.
And who exactly is that simple pleasure for?
Me? A mother looking for something fun to do during the summer?
My kids? Who need waaaaaaaay more time spent wandering flower patches, exploring nature and being in the quiet outdoors.
My sister? Who was looking for a place to hang out with her kids.
Her kids? Who love to explore.
Maybe it's the people who are going to get our extra bouquet...stuck in a hospital room or nursing home with a burst of the beautiful outdoors gracing their room.
Maybe it's for all of us...just sprinkling a little more beauty in our needy world.
That's the power of an act of kindness.  It just doesn't stop.
My bouquet gracing my kitchen table just puts my whole family into a zinnia kind of mood: vibrant, joyful, sparkly, unstoppable.  We can't help but smile...and stop and admire their beauty.

How about this beauty?

Just waiting to be picked...just beggin for a home.

I have to admire someone so willing to decorate our world...one zinnia at a time.  It challenges me to think of ways to do the same.  It reminds me of simple joys and the grace that surrounds us every single day.

Today's clouds...trying to decide which kind they were...fluffy, feathery or maybe stormy all in the same sky.

So...we got home, played florist and placed each flower in a hypnotic way into our vase and away we went.  I picked up Patrick from his play practice.  I filled my tank up with gas.  I noticed my tire was low.  So, I attempted to put air in it and I failed.  Thinking it was the air machine (it couldn't be me, could it??) I went to another gas station and tried again.  This time the tire pressure gauge was not kidding, my tire was low, really low.  I attempted to put air in again and wound up somehow letting more air out.  Can you say...really sad.

I looked up and there walking right by me was a young guy.  He was clearly on his way somewhere and moving fast.  I reached out and asked him if he knew how to put air in a tire.
Kindly, he stopped.  He didn't just do it for me, he took the time to teach me, sharing his technique of pulling the hose way out and tucking it under his foot to keep it steady. He filled my tire...checked in with me...warned me about over-filling my tires and then was on his way.
A tender mercy.
A stranger...crossing paths for only moment...but making a difference with his kindness and care.

So today was a boring old summer day.
Filled with zinnia pizzaz, kind guys willing to fill up low tires, sunshine and the freedom of summer.
Who loves summer? Yep, me...big time.
What have been your spots of sunshine this summer?

These Are A Few of My Favorite Things

"Be sure to celebrate the many small things...bright days, good friends and anything with sprinkles."

                                                                                       -- Greeting card  

So, lately I've been overwhelmed by the tiny, miniscule daily things that imbue my life with beauty and grace.  Almost every time I say to myself, "I'm going to write a post about that" and then the time slowly drip drops away and there's no post.  So to make up for my severe tardiness I'm just going to list my favorite things.  Like David Letterman I'm going to do my Top 10 in reverse order. Here goes:

10. Daddy Donut Day -- John was on morning-get-the-kids-up-and-off-to-school duty.  This is not a strong point for John and so he employed the ever famous parenting technique -- the bribe.  Exhibit A, two dressed and ready for school kids at the donut strore...happy faces galore. It worked! Daddy happy, kids happy and mom was able to do her morning work without any phone calls. YAY!

9. Orange Blossoms -- Wish I could insert fragrance button -- like some ultra-cool Willy Wonka invention -- and you could click on the scent of my backyard right now.  Light, refreshing, fragrant and spring in one deep breath.  Go out and take a big whiff...hope you get to smell some blossoms in bloom near you.

8. Losing that first tooth.  There's nothing like it...wiggle, wiggle, wiggle...wait...wiggle, wiggle, wiggle...wait.  Finally it came out and the tooth fairy made a visit to our house.  Magical notes, golden coins and glitter...nothing better.

7. Sunsets -- every evening a show is freely given.  We have to make the time to stop and notice.  Every single time I do, I'm grateful.  I need more sunset pauses in my life.

6. White picket fences with white roses growing around them...whenever I walk by this house near my neighborhood I smile.  I know when I see a dream come true.  Someone wanted to be welcoming, formal, beautiful and classic while at the same time being quintessentially small town America.  It happened right here.  Love it!

5. If you live in California, you know about the Golden Poppy -- our state flower.  If you don't you may not get to see the bountiful blossoms that tumble out from even the most manicured place.  They are unruly, prolific, wild, fragile, momentary and glorious.  Imagine whole hillsides and valleys covered in them!  Breath-taking and inspiring but only for a few months.  Like so much of life, we must cherish them while they are in bloom and don't bother to pick them -- they wilt and fall apart immediately.  They can only be admired in place.

4. Buddy turned two just a few days ago.  Faithful, devoted, thrilled by your presence...this sweet dog has completely snuggled his way into the secret place in my heart reserved for unabashed, uninhibited, all-out love. I get to see him every day and I still can't get over it.

3. Creativity -- recognize the bread hook from our mixer?  Yep, it's alternate life is as Captain Hook's hook.

Dads + Kids + Tin Foil = Magic!

2. Being in a parade!  If you ever get a chance to walk or ride in a parade, do it!  Our town has the annual Picnic Day parade to celebrate our university --  UC Davis Picnic Day Parade. It is low key and filled with floats made at the last minute by various university clubs and organizations.  It has several different marching bands, Picnic Day dignitaries, rolling farm equipment, electric vehicles, fire engines, double decker buses, and plenty of unusual bicycles. It also includes the Girl Scouts.  My daisy scout got her groove on and had the hand wave down.  She high-fived her way through the crowds and generally worked the parade route like a pro.  She came alive with the applause and the cheers and had a blast.  As a chaperone I have to say that I pretended to be part of some royal contingent and did my own hand-waving...fantastic!  Cross that off my bucket list.  Next up: marching in a band!  Maybe I can sneak into the Cal Aggie marching band just in time for next year's parade.

1. My view of the world right now.  She's obsessed with this new found freedom...a bike ride, a moment at the park and time to just relax.  I have to agree -- it's pretty great. It's my favorite thing... right now.  Of course, tomorrow's another day...enjoy anything with sprinkles, friends.  Life is short -- seize the day!

The Earth Laughs in Flowers

"I don't know whether nice people tend to grow roses or growing roses makes people nice."    Roland A. Beowne 

I have a secret spot...as soon as I think of it, I smile and can't help it.  It's not hidden but whenever I go there it feels as if it's my own private paradise: the Frederick N. Evans Memorial Rose Garden in McKinley Park in Sacramento.  I want to know what Frederick N. Evans did to deserve such distinction and such a fantastic legacy. He must have done something good, real good.

I recently read about a question to ask your children: name five things you love. So, I asked Caroline, in passing as she was literally scootering around the kitchen and living room in an endless track.  Each roundabout revealed another, in this order: Buddy, Momma, Teddy, Flowers, School. Since she is a newly minted kindergartner I breathed in a momentary breath of gratitude for "school" -- with such a big adjustment I was grateful that in this crystallized moment she was loving school.  It was a revelation to me since she has been coming home exhausted and prone to tears. 


Of course, Buddy and Momma and Teddy made sense since those are three things she routinely hugs, cherishes and sprinkles her sweet sugar on.  


Flowers, for some reason, floored me.  We hadn't been gardening, picking roses, buying flowers at the Farmer's Market or even talking about them recently but flowers sure made a lot of sense to me.  She loves to gather flowers.  She picks the dandelions, cuts the roses in our garden, notices the flowers growing wild in our neighbor's yard and begs me to make crowns of little clover flowers whenever we spot a clump growing protestingly in a manicured lawn. She has a secret spot for flowers...smart girl.


What gets us side-tracked and oblivious to the daily beauty around us?  Speed?  The nonsensical rush through our day to day obligations? Pressure? Stress? It's silly isn't it?  The very thing that can give us pause and help us drink in the beauty of today: a flower, seems inconsequential, optional and thoroughly "extra". 


Yesterday I was making a grocery list.  As usual, we were out of milk and assorted other necessities.  I was writing it down while Patrick and Caroline were eating breakfast and so I enlisted their help, hoping they would remind me of some crucial item I might have forgotten.  I asked them what they would like me to get at the grocery store.  Patrick mentioned cranberry juice and Caroline piped up: flowers.  Flowers.  How luxurious.  How completely frivolous.  How unnecessary.  


How tell-tale adult of me.


I don't usually buy flowers at the store but yesterday I almost forgot the milk I was so intent on my mission.  Flowers.  Of course. The earth laughs in flowers someone wisely once said. However you say it, life just feels better being cloaked in their beauty. We feel their sacred ordinary grace and calm down for a bit. Yesterday, I bought some flowers for a little girl who reminded me not just of their beauty but their necessity as well.

  Happy Thursday Caroline!

Happy Day to me!