Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Rainbows and Daffodils -- Cheesy and oh so perfect!

"Why take life so seriously?  It isn't permanent." -- bumper sticker

Today was one of those know the kind...just a downer.  It felt like life was just one big gray cloud and the big huge actual black cloud dropping rain on me from place to place only added to the effect.  I could list my woes and some of you would think: "Phew, so very glad that isn't me" and others would think, "Really, you think that's tough, hear what's going on with me". We all know that the woes themselves don't really matter, they are inter-changeable.  It's the weight. And for today, they weighed heavy.

I tried to find the bright (or should I say light) spots: I helped for a minute or two to teach a first grader to tie his shoe; I watched Caroline effortlessly jump onto our rope swing in the backyard and just swing with the freedom and joy of a four year old; I sat in a fort with a dog and my sweet Caroline...but the weight was still there.

As I moved through my day to day obligations, I couldn't shake this overall melancholy and when it poured rain on Caroline, Patrick, Mary Kate and myself it just felt right.  I didn't even mind it.  When the four of us came out only a half hour later, it was sunny and I told the kids to look for a rainbow.  With all of that bright sun and the recent rain, it had to be there.  But, of course, on a day like today, the physics didn't work and there weren't any rainbows -- just some puddles and kids with wet feet.

We made it home and I dropped Patrick and Caroline with Mary Kate.  I hunkered down and headed to the grocery store. I was making the list in my mind, envisioning my peanut gallery's response to this evening's dinner and figuring out exactly how much was in my bank account when I pulled in to the parking lot.  There in front of me in vivid, gorgeous hues was my rainbow.  It was a full arc and it took my breath away.  It was so unexpected, so not in my plans today that I couldn't help but smile and thank the universe for that timeless sign of hope.  I sat in my car and drank it in.  I felt like Dorothy when she lands in Oz and sees everything in color for the first time.  I didn't even realize how colorless the day was until that moment.

I watched that rainbow and looked around for anybody to smile and share it with and there wasn't a soul.  In this crowded parking lot, no one was there.  I decided that for today, it was my personal rainbow.  I clearly needed it. At the exact perfect moment, a little grace came my way.  It always does.  Sometimes it's not as obvious as a rainbow just for you but today I guess I needed the neon sign to say: "Hey, stop, take a look, it's pretty beautiful around here."

As I pulled into my driveway, I noticed the yellow daffodils sprouting like a smiley face. My peripheral vision finally got the best of me and made me take note of my driver's side companion for the entire trip: Woody from Toy Story. Perfectly seat belted and ready for fun. I smiled and noticed the weight of the day was missing.  Getting out of my car, I sighed and was rewarded with the delicious fragrance of almond blossoms.  In that moment, I knew in my heart that the weight was as transitory as those small white star shaped blossoms in my backyard and yes, as fleeting as my own personal rainbow.

Sometimes it's just hard. Today was one of those days.  I needed a rainbow. In the parking lot of the Davis Food Co-op one showed up.  Whoever is accepting universal thank you notes...I sent mine on the petal of almond blossom. Thanks!


  1. Sorry you were having a hard day! I too love rainbows and daffodils! Daffodils are my new favorite flower this year. They have a special significance at our preschool, and I think they are so lovely. I was telling mom how much I love them, and she told me that when she was pregnant with me, she was planting bulbs with Brian in the front yard. She told him that when they started to bloom, they would have a new baby. That made me smile, and now I selfishly have started to think of them as my special flower, that was waiting just for me;)

  2. Awww MC, now I will think of daffodils as your flower. What a sweet story and a great way to think of all of our March babies. I love daffodils! I don't know if it's the whole keep coming back thing or just their bright happiness in the waning winter. It's a beautiful thing no matter what! Love you!

  3. I really loved reading this. I have felt the weight lately and I have been looking for my rainbow. I know if will come, like yours did, at the most unexpected time and in the most unexpected way. You and I need to curl up together with that bottle of wine by that fire sometime and just discuss it all. I would enjoy that immensely.

  4. Katie, Me too! I am up for it 100%. Friend, let's find a time to make it happen. With tonight's weather it sounds lovely! ~Beth