Working Myself Out of A Job

It's October...

pumpkins and falling leaves and that wonderful scent of changing seasons.

It also happens to be Down Syndrome Awareness Month.

My Facebook feed was blowing up today...

filled with cuteness overload of children who have Down Syndrome.

Of course, I smile big when I see this

because frankly, I don't see enough almond-shaped eyes with Brushfield spots in my daily world.

I live in a town of 60,000 people.

With the rate at which Down Syndrome occurs in our population - which is 1 in every 691 births - 

my son, Patrick, who is 16 should have almost 100 other people in our town with Down Syndrome.

If we're lucky, we have about 25.

There is not a single child with Down Syndrome who is my son's age in our town.

Not a year apart.

The closest child is 4 years younger or three years older.

Which makes it pretty clear that where I live many, many people chose not to have their child with Down Syndrome when they found out in utero that their baby had Down Syndrome.

What a colossal loss.

If only they could know, really know, what they missed out on.

But how can you explain it?

How do you advocate for someone's right to live?

How do you dispel the fear?

The ignorance?

The cultural bias against people who have a lower IQ?

Why would you choose to have your baby if it were diagnosed ahead of time with such a 

terrible, debilitating, sad condition?

Because the real truth is that having Down Syndrome isn't debilitating, terrible or sad.

What's sad is living in a world where people think that.

Living with people like Patrick requires an understanding that people need support.

Ummm...spoiler alert: we all need support.

If not right this minute, then later on down the road.

If you don't enter the world of disability as you age, you're dead.

There's no other option.

You need support as you age.

It's a given.

So why is it hard to give support earlier?

*****

Here's the deal, people like Patrick are just...

PEOPLE.

People who have likes and dislikes.

People who have strengths and challenges.

People who have hopes and dreams and crushing disappointments.

PEOPLE.

What people like Patrick need is equality.

If people like Patrick were equal, we wouldn't need Down Syndrome Awareness Month.

We wouldn't need to beg, cajole, nudge and encourage schools to open 

their typical classrooms to them.

We would see them working in regular jobs in regular places.

We wouldn't need separate proms, separate teams, separate camps.

We wouldn't need ultrasound.

Because your life wouldn't be up for debate.

We would just be together living our lives...figuring out ways to offer support and welcome.

And that, my friends, is the month, year, decade and century I want to celebrate.

I want to have a baby born with Down Syndrome and to never hear the words: 

"I'm sorry."

I want people to cherish and understand the incredible, astonishing gift that people with 

Down Syndrome bring to our world.

No, they are not happy all the time...

but they understand how to love deeply and with abandon.

If you are lucky enough to enjoy this love, you know how it feeds your soul.

This depth of love is special to the 21st chromosome.

People with Down Syndrome offer a lightness to life.

They offer kindness and graciousness.

They get the important things and have an honest way of cutting through the BS.

They really are needed in our world.

They aren't optional.

They offer a necessary message...

a must-hear letter from the universe:

This.right.here. love and kindness and light...

this is what matters.

So, join me, in dreaming of a day where nobody celebrates Down Syndrome Awareness Month.

Help me, work myself out of a job cheerleading for the basic rights of people with Down Syndrome.

I can't wait to just kick back and enjoy October.

Faith and Freedom

From the movie V for Vendetta...in case you missed it, stop everything and watch now.


Today, in a city known for romance and world famous art, hate made its mark.
What kind of hatred?

The hatred of "Liberté, Égalité, Fraternité"  France's national motto --
Liberty, Equality, Brotherhood

Those concepts don't seem controversial to me...but I am a free woman born and raised in the
United States of America.
I live in a place that values freedom and equality.
A place that allows every single faith to practice in any way needed.
A place that believes in educating everyone.
A place that allows everyone to speak their mind...and yes, draw their political cartoons.

We get heated discussions and disagreements among our people daily.

France does too.

But today, a group of three tried to use hatred and violence and fear to shut that down...
and this is how the world responded:

With a pen...grace in action...for the world to see.

IDEAS ARE BULLETPROOF.

Radical fundamentalists here's a memo:
you can't shut people down with fear.

Freedom doesn't just fly away.
Education doesn't stop.
Big ideas like Liberty, Equality and Brotherhood are here to stay.

Your actions although frightening, bold and brazen show a sad desperation.

You can't stop the flow of information.
You can't stem the desire for knowledge.
No matter what size guns you carry, freedom is bigger.

Love is louder.
Creativity and imagination overrule your hate any day of the week.

What can I do...so far away from France?
Why should I care?
Why should I bother to hold my pen up?

Because it is clear that freedom has a bold and vicious enemy.
We cannot stay silent.

We cannot feel safe in our corner of the world and watch as freedom gets chipped away in other great democracies...
because it is only a matter of time until it heads here.

Salman Rushdie, 25 years ago, had his life threatened for writing a book.

The hatred has only gotten bolder.
The actions even more diabolical.
We have people chopping other people's heads off for God's sake!

We need to stand with France and stand with freedom.
We can take comfort in our camaraderie.
Our shared brotherhood and friendship.
France gave us Lady Liberty...holding her golden torch...welcoming our huddled masses.

The people of Paris need to know and feel our strength and resolve.
We are not backing away.

I pray more cartoons ridicule, revile and relish in the stupidity that is radical.
I can't wait to laugh out loud.

Boldly, Brazenly, Freely
as an educated woman who is educating all of her children
and has the audacity to hold her pen up.

We Long To Belong

 

Sitting in my seminar this week with my student teachers we talked about how to manage kids in the classroom.  

We discussed the three guest speakers we had had the week before --

excellent teachers from all walks of life.

All three of them kept repeating the same message.

Even though they were from different cities and from different schools with different populations of students.

They said it many different ways but it all came down to this:

The student must feel unconditional acceptance from you.

The students need to feel loved and connected...

...and then, said so simply by one of my student teachers, this gem revealed itself:

we long to belong.

I've been rolling that around in my head for a few days...

smoothing it over like a favorite blanket...

petting it...

visiting those simple rhyming words...

and letting them sink way down deep.

No duh.

We know this at such a basic level that we overlook it.

As parents.

As friends.

As family members.

As community members.

As a couple.

And yes, as teachers.

I've been working on a little dream of my own recently and it has everything to do with belonging.

Everything about feeling worthy and celebrated and accepted.

We long to belong.

Every child should feel worthy.

Every child should feel cherished and treasured and wanted...

especially at school....

most especially if we say we're Catholic and work to have our children attend Catholic school.

Parents of children with disabilities are a special group.

They've been separated and isolated through almost their entire parenting journey.

That feeling of isolation can be crushing.

Not to mention lonely.

These families have most definitely felt like outsiders standing at the gate.

They knock on the door...but they just aren't sure it will open.

It's time we threw the door wide open.

We long to belong.

Yep, folks, right here.right now. we are working on full inclusion in Catholic schools.

We are supporting families, educators, administrators and priests or other religious with our 

vision and hope.

 Turns out belonging has a name -- fullinclusionforcatholicschools.org  

There's no entrance fee.

No golden ticket required.

You belong just by being you.

You are welcomed and wanted.

Come on in.

Mary, Queen of Peace, Where Are You??

Do you ever wonder why

social change takes so long?

PEOPLE AWARE OF AN INJUSTICE

THOSE WHO CARE ABOUT IT

THOSE WHO SPEAK UP ABOUT IT

THOSE WHO GIVE MONEY

THOSE WHO GIVE TIME

THOSE WHO TAKE INITIATIVE

Be an ally.

*****

Mary, Queen of Peace, where are you??

Today is the first day of school and Chris doesn't get to start Kindergarten.

Why??

At your school, with your name, with your strength and wisdom and history of miracles,

they said no.

Even though he was there in the prekindergarten last year.

Chris, it turns out, has a little too much Down Syndrome.

"He's severely effected."

Which, by the way, isn't even a thing.

People with Down Syndrome either have it or they don't.

They are all learners.

They all have hopes and dreams.

Some might be more delayed but that doesn't mean they aren't learning.

What's going on in kindergarten that a child with Down Syndrome can't participate in?

Is it the social skills?

Well, let's be honest, Chris won't be the only one who needs to work on that.

Is it the academics?

Pretty sure that Chris ins't the only one who could use some extra help there.

Is it the idea that every single one of us is holy and sacred and made in God's image?

**That's a core belief of Catholicism and one of Mary's shining lights.**

Is Chris not holy enough? 

Sacred enough?

Is he broken??

No.

Hell no.

He is made in God's image, exactly as God intended.

He is beautiful.

He is irreplaceable.

He is miraculous.

Mary, Queen of Peace, yes, she knows this.

Mary, Queen of Peace, the school, near St. Louis, Missouri, 

is apparently still trying to figure it out.

We need bravery.

We need courage.

We need a whole crew of people to step up and shout that Chris deserves to be there.

Right alongside their own kid.

Learning and growing.

We need voices.

We need action.

We need to live social justice and not just talk about it.

Come on.

Mary, Queen of Peace, the school, the faculty, the parents, the students, the priests, the parish...where are you??

Do you even know this is happening?

How much do you believe in Mary, Queen of Peace?

She makes miracles happen.

She comforts.

She leads.

She defends and protects.

Let her show you the way.

Trust her.

Watch what happens with a little faith and effort.

I know because I've lived it.

My own son, Patrick, who also has Down Syndrome, went to kindergarten at St. James Catholic School in Davis, California.

He actually went to first and second and third and fourth and fifth and sixth and seventh and yes, even eighth grade there.

He just graduated this year.

Was it perfect?

Nope.

Did we learn a lot?

Yep.

Was it worth it?

Most definitely.

Could we help you??

Of course!!

I've got not just one kindergarten teacher but two that would be willing to help.

(Heck, I've even got a couple of principals who would talk to you!)

They are amazing teachers and yes, they believe that Chris can learn 

alongside of his classmates.

In fact, they know he will read and write and learn his math facts just like the rest.

It might take some more repetition.  It might take several different ways.

But it will happen.

In Chris's way. In his timing.

And it will be exactly right.

And, I'd love to have an excuse to visit you near St Louis and introduce you to Patrick...

I'd love to do an inservice for your teachers and share what we've learned.

I work with beginning teachers as my job with our local university, UC Davis.

I can send you a resume.

And guess what?

We have the educational research to help you.

We know what to do.

We know the teaching techniques that work.

We know what apps work.

We know how to use technology to help learners like Chris

...and here's the good part...

that research, that technology, those teaching techniques won't just help Chris, 

they will help all of your struggling learners...

and let's not pretend that Chris is the only student who struggles.

There's a guaranteed  10% that struggle.

In every classroom.

Your entire school will benefit with Chris's inclusion, both academically and socially.

This has been documented time and again with research and 

this is what we've seen at St. James.

Here's another mind-blower:

In the entire United Kingdom, it is standard practice to place every child with 

Down Syndrome into their neighborhood school fully included with support in kindergarten.  

If it's good enough for the UK, don't you think Mary, Queen of Peace could try?

I know you want to do what's best for Chris 

and the rest of the students who attend your school.

I know you care.

What's best for Chris (and the entire student body) is creating an environment that allows Chris to learn at the same school as his sister.

What's best for Chris (and the entire student body) is the message that he is valuable.

And worthy.

And good enough.

That's the message you want to send.

Stop being afraid.

Stop thinking you can't do this.

Open your heart to Mary, Queen of Peace, to the Holy Spirit, and to Jesus Christ and 

let it all unfold.

Do you think it's an accident that Chris's mom and I crossed paths?

I don't.

I know it's what God intended.

I can see God's hand in all of this.

Your school's name is no accident.

Patrick's kindergarten teacher 

(who wasn't too sure about Patrick going to kindergarten there)

signed every letter she wrote home to the parents with this phrase:

"With God, all things are possible."

Once I saw that, I knew we had a chance.

And we did.

Here is Patrick on his graduation day, May 30th, 2014.

Yep, miracles do come true.

Believe it.