Sunday, December 16, 2012


"Nothing is worth more than this day."
--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Last night we held 2006 baby and me.  We were hurrying in the dark to Patrick's performance.  She had her new warm jacket on and her purple sequined holiday skirt.  I was wearing my thick red sweater.  We were together.  I could feel her fingernails and reminded myself that she needed to have her nails clipped.  I felt her hand and held it tighter, trying to get a grip on something that was growing and moving and forever headed out of my reach.

I've been trying to get a grip since Friday.  
It hasn't worked.

Friday, something beyond description happened in our country.  Some sick, sick young guy decided to take his anger and hatred out on an elementary school.  He walked around shooting up children, most of them born in 2006, until at last he turned the gun on himself.  

They were first graders.  Just living their day, learning to read, practicing their math facts, getting ready for Christmas.

I don't know how to make sense of any of it, so I tighten my grip.  I hunker down.  I read a few more books at night to her.  I give her cake for breakfast.  I pretend I need to fix her hair again just to fix it for myself.  I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm weird.

What can we do?  Any of us???

We can reach out to those suffering, instead of pretending not to notice.  
We can share a smile.
We can wait an extra few seconds before honking our horn or sighing with agitation or making that snarky reply.
We can offer kindness and acceptance where there is none -- and yes, right now, right where you live, there is somebody who needs just that.
We can think of others first.
We can support our schools with action -- let them know how much we appreciate their hard work and selflessness.
We can be patient.
We can pray.
We can love those who share our space today.

And that brings me to today.  That is all we have, any of us.

We live in a dangerous world.  

But we live in a beautiful world too. It is full of sunsets and roses and heroism every single day.

Today, I'm going to be present and mindful of the meals I make, the words I say, the thoughts I think and the actions that I spend my precious twenty four hours doing.
I'm going to lean toward love.
I'm going to really live my day.
I hope you do too.
I love you!


  1. Thank you, Beth. My heart needed this. Love you.

  2. OH, Beth. Give Caroline an extra squeeze for me please...say it's from Katie in the Blue Dress. I am sick over it. I have never prayed so hard in my life. My blog friend, Laura, has been all over the news...her two kids are alive, although they were mere classrooms away. As soon as I heard, I is just awful. Praying. Praying. Praying. That's all I keep writing to her in my many emails & instagram comments. xoxoK

  3. Beth, I am so glad you wrote this. It is so easy to turn to despair, but I know what our world needs is to turn to love. Just like you said. To be present and loving and compassionate. I am so sick about what has happened. The first thing I thought was, that is Caroline's age and it just shook me. I can't imagine how you must be feeling. I am going to try so hard to lean toward love. Love you.